She believes that much of the angst in our life is self-inflicted and very “curable”.
But, to do so, we need to master our thoughts.
She says that an undisciplined mind is like a two-year-old running around with a knife. Everything could go great, but the real possibility exists that someone will be hurt.
I love that analogy.
Our mind runs amuck and someone gets hurt – often that someone is us.
The model she teaches is elegant in its simplicity.
Circumstances cause our thoughts Thoughts lead to our feelings Feelings cause us to act in certain ways Actions lead to the results we get.
C-> T-> F-> A-> R
Circumstances are often out of our control. People get sick, accidents happen, cats throw up at bad times.
We, for the most part, can’t change the event.
So if we want to change the results we are getting, the first place to look is at our thoughts.
Since this is Valentine’s week, here’s a relationship example.
One of my clients is always irritated that her significant other ignores her texts. To the point that she is thinking about ending the relationship. I mean “if he can’t make time for me, clearly I’m not a priority.” When he does eventually text back, she “gives him a taste of his own medicine” and doesn’t deign to reply. After all, “the moment passed”.
Circumstance is no response to a text Thought is that I’m not a priority Feeling is one of constant irritation Action is to ignore the eventual text back Result is a potential end to the relationship
My client righteously believes that HE is to blame for the state of their relationship.
Do you see that two-year-old wielding the knife?
Through the coaching process, I helped her walk through this model until she hit upon the idea that she interprets his non-response as “I’m not a priority.”
It’s that thought that is the root of her irritation.
You want a different result, think a different thought.
That’s enough for this week – this is pretty heavy stuff!
But the idea that you can change the results you get by changing your thoughts is real.
Leaving you with this from the lighter side: I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish.